Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I Grew Up Near a Forest

Back when we were infants my brother and I would take turns trying to stab each other in the heart or the eyes. It was a game meant to prepare us for the real world. Have we been well prepared? Our parents won't say. Having raised us they then fled into the dark forest and have yet to reemerge. We imagine them shivering in the forest, leaves in their hair. We imagine them being attacked by great eagles and bears. I imagine a bear trying to stab me in the eyes. My brother and I are professors of philosophy and have taught most recently at the Sorbonne. My newest book will interest academics and laypeople alike. Who knows about my brother.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Old 98 vs. OSU, 1940

What Happened When I Was Walking Through a Meadow One Day with My Brother

When I was forty-eight and my brother was two we fell down an abandoned mine. I held my brother as we tumbled down through the darkness. My brother was very scared and I was not a little scared, too. I thought about how my blood was darkly rushing through my veins and arteries, and how it was rushing through my brother's small body, and how we were both in turn rushing down darkly through the tunnel, which was created by people looking for valuable things, who chipped away at the walls and so made the walls they chipped away at, and blew up at earth to get at the valuable things. What kind of valuable things the miners were looking for, I wish I knew. Then I could better determine whether our accident was terrible or comic or merely tragic.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Dead or Alive

When I was a kid I used to ride the bus to school. On the radio a lot was Bon Jovi's "Dead or Alive," which was a big hit at the time. I would listen to the song and imagine what was happening to the singer, who I imagined to be a cowboy, because he said he was. He also said that he rode on a steel horse. I thought that he rode on an actual horse made of steel, like a larger-than-life one. It probably breathed fire.

It wasn't until I was in my 20s that I realized he was probably talking about a motorcycle, or at least a car.

Anyway, this past summer I saw the movie Thor. In this movie the ultimate weapon of the Norse gods is a giant, empty suit of spiky armor that breathes fire. It's, like, eight feet tall and practically indestructible. I watched this movie, which wasn't very good, and thought about how if that suit of armor met the steel horse from "Dead or Alive" that I'd imagined, and how they'd probably be inseparable best friends. Bon Jovi, who I now consider something of a poseur and nothing at all like a weathered cowboy, would be left bleeding in the dust if he tried to stop them. Or he'd be a pile of ashes if that suit of armor from Thor breathed fire on him.

All I know is if I saw a giant suit of spiky armor breathing fire riding a steel horse breathing fire, I'd probably faint.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


Granderson: Panic over kids' education

Kardashian wedding report hijacked by kid

White House answers iReporters

12 red hot SUVs

Goldman Sachs CEO lawyers up

IPad = iPod: Apple's market forever?

Black women, hair and the gym

The death of the text message

Monday, August 22, 2011

CNN Eatocracy

A knack for finding a message in a bottle

Uproar over lingerie for young girls

Comedian Jefferies on getting robbed

Tips for training a well-mannered dog

America's 5 least religious colleges

Your hopes and outrage set to music

Burger King dethroned

Sunday, August 21, 2011

CNN Explains Your World

MTV to debut plus-size reality star

Depardieu sorry for peeing on plane

You really love Betty White

Will reality TV ever change?

The 'heart attack proof' diet?

Burger King mascot dethroned

Ornish: Changes for a longer life

Bill Clinton's vegan embrace

ADHD diagnoses on the rise, CDC says

TEDMED: Inside the world of viruses

Does taking acid cause brain damage?

Saturday, August 20, 2011


N.M. hero is undocumented immigrant

North Korean leader arrives in Russia

L.A. sheriff's office in civil rights probe

Tropical Storm Harvey forms

Anthony's car crushed in junkyard

Activist vows to fast until bill passes

Ticker: Palin's shocking praise

Opinion: O'Donnell's reaction 'bizarre'

Catholic nuns do 'the wave'

Friday, August 19, 2011

CNN Sonnet

Nivea apologizes for 're-civilize' ad

What happened to Robyn Gardner?

25 best places to find rich singles

Army: Ballistic boxers OK, but cups ...

NY crash 'like a Bruce Willis movie'

Police fighting flash mob mayhem

Classic Porsche gets green makeover

Wonder which iReports went viral?

How not to walk out on interview

Is charity sex better than no sex?

Blaming others can ruin your health

From twins to mustard & pirates!

Recession is inevitable

Bachmann: I'll bring back $2-a-gallon gas

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


Facebook debuts first biblical game

Painful spanking 'a gift from God'

Don't let your cell phone get hacked

Ranking top 100 players in NBA

Europe's debt solution? Work longer

Pakistan on the brink

Britney's ex welcomes 5th child

Matchmaker tip: Pick looks or loot

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Obama to talks jobs with Iowa farmers

Wal-Mart U.S. sales still hurting

James Murdoch may testify again

BART shuts, opens doors to foil protest

Ticker: Bill Clinton's GOP crush

Bachmann ducks gay questions

Suspect in Aruba to be transferred

Australian bomb suspect to be in court

Girl spanked to death in the name of God

Police: Father admits decapitating son

Hulk Hogan, daughter show skin

This Just In: CNN's news blog

Monday, August 15, 2011


Autism raises risk for later siblings

9 pediatric emergency essentials

Can melatonin prevent jet lag?

Doctors rock out in the OR

Vampire bat virus implicated in death

Sunday, August 14, 2011


HypnoBirthing: Relax during labor?

'Easy birth' - One mother's story

Court rules against parts of health law

The top power foods for you

Breaking in your FiveFinger shoes

Why do I always think about food?

Quiz: The downside of antibacterials

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Saturday Morning Cartoons

It was a sunny day in California

It was a beautiful morning on the moon

It was a dark storm in the glen

Water flooding our tunnels

It was a a zap gun malfunction

In zero gravity and atmosphere

Bouncing spheres of electrical discharge

scorched our heads our white eyes blinking

It was a race to the death

Like yesterday's race to the death

When the gun wouldn't work

We looked straight down its barrel

The gun went off right in our face

scorched our heads our white eyes blinking

We dressed up as barbers

Riding trains into the Old West

We dressed in drag and sang opera

Our enemies wanted to marry us

Friday, August 12, 2011


Injured man helped, then robbed

'Love Kitchen' feeds body, soul

Study: Kissing keeps spouse happy

Roseanne Barr set to star in new sitcom

Need a minion? There's an app for that

7 apps to make you a better person

If not college, then what?

Large wildfire in Virginia swamp

Thursday, August 11, 2011

From iReporter to CNNer (and beyond)

Dry Texas town to recycle urine

Flooding in Hoboken

Stocks: Buckle up

Chilling in back-to-school chaos

Little man Bill: Size does matter

Pimps twist California dream

New video game about 1979 Iran revolt

Boy's ode to fallen dad inspires

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

This Just In: CNN's news blog

This plane can hack you!

Walgreens to sell health insurance

Should bullfighting be banned?

Best sandwich in the universe?

'The sun will come out for Wall St.'

Welcome to CNN iReport boot camp

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

William Wordsworth: "London, 1802"

Milton! thou shouldst be living at this hour;

England hath need of thee: she is a fen

Of stagnant waters: altar, sword, and pen,

Fireside, the heroic wealth of hall and bower,

Have forfeited their ancient English dower

Of inward happiness. We are selfish men;

Oh! raise us up, return to us again;

And give us manners, virtue, freedom, power.

Thy soul was like a Star, and dwelt apart;

Thou hadst a voice whose sound was like the sea:

Pure as the naked heavens, majestic, free,

So didst thou travel on life's common way,

In cheerful godliness; and yet thy heart

The lowliest duties on herself did lay.

Saturday, August 6, 2011


I will shiver the whole
night through

like the last few
years anyway,

spent sleeping
atop a stepladder

in the middle
of a sinkhole

on top of a cloud
that looks like

a vampire.

Friday, August 5, 2011

The Hazy Intersection of Art and Commerce

My vision quest has paid off
in the form of a giant spider
fern that eats spiders
and also people, or,
more specifically,
it gives spiders a place
to grow to be giants
wherein they eat the people
who get trapped in the fern.
How is this a positive outcome?
I wrote this whole thing down
in the poem you are reading,
which I've sold to Hollywood.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

36 Million

The president walks out
and says words into a microphone.
They float up and randomly away
like bubbles above grass.
This morning 36 million
pounds of ground turkey were recalled
as the nation began
its long wait in traffic.
The ends are mysterious.
The problems are complex but
expressed in simple dollar signs.
I would love to help but
I'm blowing away, piece by tiny,
stupid piece.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

I Read Poems Good?

InDefinite Podcast #18 is up, wherein I read some poems from We Are Doomed: Dispatches from the City of the Future. Click to check it out right here, and then be sure to also read the rest of issue 21 of InDigest, wherein you will find lots of great writing.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


InDigest 21 is live as of this morning. Click here to check it out.

You will find poems by Wendy Xu, Gregory Lawless, Monica McClure, Sarah Bridgins, Noah F. Grossman, David McAleavey, Adam Moorad, Maia Elgin, Masin Persina, Charlotte Seley, and broadsides by Paul Siegell. And that's just in the poetry section - there's a lot of other great writing and art ready for your consumption.

For instance, there's a lyrics sheet by Richard Buckner, who I was just talking about the other day as being the living embodiment of stage presence. (I saw him with my friend Chris in Ann Arbor, Michigan, about ten years ago - he killed it.)

Anyway, help us celebrate 21 issues of InDigest. Thanks to all of our contributors.


Rain blows in for days.
Here comes fun.
Here comes some
liars and thugs.
They've got shoes
at high sheen
and interests
in briefcases.
Their eyes are the color
of camouflage.
Their ties smell like rain.
Someone took
my books but then
gave them back,
who knows a thing
or two about
Keynesian economics,
voodoo, too.
No one's saying anything.
No one knows
what to do
with the dogs,
dogs that want